(Forever,Never) and everything in between.

Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas

heidigarvin:

• Cut holes for your arms and legs in a Hefty trash bag in such a manner so that the opening cinches around your neck. Fill the bag with crumpled up pieces of paper before you tie it. Congratulations, you are now a bag of trash. (Not recommended if there is a Halloween killer in your neighborhood. The Hefty bag cinch ties will only aid him/her in choking you.)
• Wear a power suit. Congratulations, you are yourself in an alternate reality, the one wear you actually went to college and/or majored in something useful. Or Barney Stinson, if you are a guy.
• Safety pin a towel onto the back of your shirt. Congratulations, you are now the superhero you always wanted to grow up to be.
• Wrap yourself in silver mylar. Congratulations, you are now a leftover. Or a Chipotle burrito. (Note: actual aluminum foil is very hard to get to stay on your body/clothes. I have tried.)
• Get a white sheet. Cut holes for your eyes. Congratulations, you are a ghost. Or go further and cut holes all over the sheet. Congratulations, you are now Charlie Brown as a ghost a la It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
• Get a sheet. Wrap it around yourself like a toga. Carry a red plastic cup. You are now a frat boy. Extra points if you say “brah” and do keg stands all night.
• Gentlemen, two words for a simple and quick last minute costume: Risky Business
• Ladies, dress up like a slutastic hooker. When asked what you are, reply with “your mom last night.”

Happy Haunting, my friends!

Pre-t amazing, Garvs.

Another one: if you’re heavy, wrap yourself in toilet paper.  You’re now the Michelin Man!  Or, you know, Mummified Babe Ruth.  (That one you can be drunk and abusive AND call your shot!)