(Forever,Never) and everything in between.

“

I am a modern man, a man for the millennium - digital and smoke-free, a diversified, multicultural post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high tech low life, a cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I’m new wave but I’m old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database - my database is in cyberspace - so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive, and from time to time I’m radioactive.

[I’m] behind the 8 ball, ahead of the curve, ridin’ the wave, dodgin’ the bullet, pushin’ the envelope. I’m on point, on task, on message and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top but under the radar. A high-concept, low profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street wise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps to run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. [I’m] a raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab and in denial.

I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down, because I’m tireless and I’m wireless. I’m an alpha male on beta blockers. I’m a nonbeliever and an overachiever, laid back but fashion forward. Up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance, super sized, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready and built to last. I’m a hands on, foot loose, kneejerk headcase, prematurely post-traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver. My output is down but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex, I like rough sex, I like tough love. I use the f word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall, I bought a minivan in a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m toll free, bite sized, ready to wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equiped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post dated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal - lean and mean, cocked, glocked and ready to rock, rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride. Drivin’ and movin’, sailin’ and spinnin’, jivin’ and groovin’, wailin’ and winnin’. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose, I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road; I party hearty, and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin’ in, there ain’t no doubt, and I’m hangin’ tough - over and out.

” -

George Carlin.

Psh, labels.